BEST OF EUROVISION 2025 - our picks. Well, kinda.

So… despite what they say, Eurovision was created basically because some Italian dude was like, “We have Sanremo, why not apply that to a bigger stage for all of Europe?” It works in Italy, it makes money, so why not? And it’s fun! Everything was almost ready, since a lot of European countries already had national music competitions run by government-backed TV stations… sooo win-win. And it worked. Eurovision was fun, still is, and it’s put out some great music and big names.

In the past 10 years or more, it’s become a bit of a cliché. Mainly, I think, because those in power selecting who’s going to represent their country in Eurovision have been in that position since the '80s. You know you don’t really get fired working for the government, lol, sooo… they’re not exactly up to speed with what’s going on in the music industry right now.

Meanwhile, artists trying to fit the “winning formula” of the national competition — and therefore Eurovision — end up betraying their artistic and musical selves and come out with some weird-ass songs. The Eurovision formula has become a standard now: pop-folk, power ballad, catchy weird rock, funny dance song… but no matter what, you have to include a screaming note just to prove you’ve “got the vocals.” Why? I don’t know, it’s just the way it is.

Does it work? No. I think it’s stupid.

There was a time when every country brought originality to the competition, but Western and Eastern Europe are so different that everything got lost in translation. That affected the voting process and, of course, the final classification. So now, everybody sounds like they came from different villages in the same country — and most of the songs are trash.

They also tend to sing in English, which is another whole-ass subject. By the way — who the f**k translates song's lyrics on the Eurovision official website? Google Translate? Like, WTF! Yyyyyy! A little adaptation wouldn’t hurt, lol.

Anyway! I did listen to all 37 songs in this year’s competition, and yeah… I really thought this started off as such a good year. Then I don’t know… these are some crazy songs, dude. LMAO.

I really wanna do a follow-up to this with a list of the best songs of 2025 so far for each European country so you can understand that Eurovision doesn’t really mirror the European music market. Probably won’t do it, ‘cause I’m lazy, but it’s very true. Nevertheless, Eurovision can be a lot of things, but it is fun and great exposure if you’re looking to jump into the international music market.

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Albania – THEY ATE! The only song that sounds original. Great lyrics, great performance. No calculated formula. They’re the biggest surprise this season, and they should win. I know they probably won’t, but they should. Definitely Top 5.

Italy – Great song. Don’t know if it’ll translate well in Eurovision, but it’s such a mood. If it was just a bit more upbeat or more rocky, it could’ve done very well. I love it anyway.

Norway – I LOVED THIS! I thought it was a winner, but mid-song it feels like it’s missing something. That part where he sings "your reign that kept me at your mercy" feels shaky, and then it slides into that Eurovision dance cliché. It didn’t need that. Still a favorite. I’d rather this win than that sauna song, wtf.

Greece – This has such a powerful intro. Goosebumps! And then… that’s it. The rest is generic. And I cannot get over those glasses! TF girl! I can’t even focus on the song — I just keep staring at the glasses. They're taking over her face. Not stylish, she can’t pull them off. Wasn’t there anyone on her team to be like, “F**k no!”?

Malta – Loved this! Only problem is, it sounds exactly like every RuPaul’s Drag Race girl song release after their season ends. I’ve heard this a thousand times. That said, she’s serving cunt.

Israel – Beautiful start. I was loving it, waiting to see where it would take me… and I waited… and waited… I still am, lol. If it had a powerful bridge, it would’ve been a winner. It doesn’t. It’s okay.

France – I’m listening and it sounds so heartfelt, then I read the lyrics and it’s like “There are no more one night stands”. Girl what? HAHAHAHAHA! She sounds like she’s suffering, but I didn’t expect that. Then she sings “Now it’s me she calls Mum” — no girl, f**k that, HAHAHA! No one is singing that. This isn’t an E-Rotic song.

UK – Fun trio. Good song, but I think they missed the mark. They should’ve started the song with the third part. The beginning just doesn’t grab you. But if you start listening at 0:50, it all changes. I do think they could be very successful with the right track.

Slovenia – Very mid-’90s sound, and such a good song musically — BUT, without sounding like an asshole… the lyrics are all wrong. They’re personal and heartfelt, and I feel bad, but this is Eurovision. Sorry man, but unless this was a movie soundtrack, who’d listen to this on the radio? Big picture. Should’ve been a break-up song, or just not so literal. I mean it starts with “Our baby boy was crawling in the living room, you read a diagnosis, it said you’d be dying soon”. BRUH. How do you even rhyme that?! In the end he says “wish we could take it slow” — I’m sorry, I can’t.Musically though — 10s across the board.

Netherlands – Starts strong, then… meh. Like many of the songs this year, it had a good idea but no follow-through. Even Georgia’s track — great intro, weak bridge. And those dancers! So distracting! Back to the Netherlands: great voice, smooth tone, but the second half is generic. I know they were trying for a Stromae vibe — it doesn’t quite get there.

Sweden – Not on my list, but everyone’s favorite and the front-runner to win Eurovision 2025. I don’t get it. They’re literally singing about saunas. I’m not joking. Yeah, yeah I know male bonding and shit. Still about saunas. 
“We’re gonna sauna, sauna / Steam it up and let go of all the stress today / Sauna brother, we’re the ones who glow” — LOOOOL.
Sure, saunas are big in the north, but did we need a song about it? Maybe. Did we need to hear it? No. Hahaha! It’s like Russian military marching music… but make it sauna.

So yeah — these are our faves from this year’s participants. Doesn’t mean we like these songs (well, Albania and Norway, yes). But I’ll say this: Kyle Alessandro (Norway) has the best chances of becoming an international star. If you wanna bet on someone — that’s a win. Definitely keeping an eye on him.