The Horrible Playlist

So...I was invited to this event, one of those events that you know is gonna be boring, everything boring,  - 7 shots of vodka can't get you out of there - boring. One of those events where they hire the local DJ, the one that used to be cool 20 years ago when he was out of high school and everyone went to college but he didn't because he pursued his dream of DJ_ing...that kind of cool, you know. The one with spiky hair, printed shirt, loud sneakers and sunglasses somewhere on him. Extra pounds for those True Religion jeans (How I loath those white lines on them ) he still wears, because they were like $300 back then and even though no-one knows tf that brand is anymore, he doesn't care because he will explain it to you then fuck a whole story about parties he used to throw and how music used to be back then. (Damn that was the longest sentence!) I swear I have nothing against DJs. I just wanted you to know exactly who/what I'm talking about because we all have met that DJ. And...because you "meet" him constantly at all these common parties such as weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, corporate events etc and...because you know he'll always play the most overplayed songs on the planet,  in order to make sure everyone will get up and dance from Baby Sharks to Sinatras. That DJ's playlist is what I call The Horrible Playlist, which includes songs that nobody seems to ever forget otherwise known in my circle of friendship as HYMNS. They have reached that kind of status. You know, every time these songs play people stand up and sing them, just like with hymns minus the salute. So...I was like, taking notes and his is definitely the most Horrible Playlist I could come with. Don't get me wrong. Each of these songs are great and at their time had a huge influence on the music market and taste, but just like my neighbor, and I looove my neighbor (wink, wink) BUT... if I hear that sound one more fückin time I will break down lol It's a trigger lololololol Also, if your reunion is coming up, you might just need it. Thank you! 

Los Del Rio - Macarena 

Well, I mean...it was on the news. They'd be reporting on a tennis match and this song will come on and people will start and dance and the reporter be like "Oh look! Everybody is doing the Macarena!" That's how huge this song was. Politicians were dancing to it , then of course ruined it. But beside being popular, the song takes huge credit against ageism and showing that you don't have to be in your 20s to have a worldwide hit. Hold on just googling ...they were about 50yo when this song came out?!!! Damn, why did I think they were much older...like 70 lolololol (Actually, that's how old they are today - 76 wtffff I apologize!) .Well, I was a kid back then so, everyone over 20 was old to me. Ok, you get it.

Lou Bega - Mambo No :5

Fun fact, the guy is not even Spanish, but damn did he deliver. Learned that today. Once again!  Thank you Google! You have to understand, no one was playing these sounds, or wearing these clothes at the time this song came out. He brought them back! And I can imagine how surprised his label must have been with the success. Europe loves Latin beats in the Summer and any song with 1-2-3 in it. Well, who doesn't?!

Haddaway - What Is Love

Before SNL turned it into a skit, people were very very serious about this song. If you didn't hear this playing five times a night in the club, then where you even in the right club?

You don't think so! Exactly!

Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On

Ughhh! They played this song in the clubs! IN THE CLUBS! I'm not fücking kidding! And people danced. I remember getting on the table with a friend and doing that "I'm flying!" scene on the bow of the Titanic lol in protest, because DJ wouldn't play our favorite song...and he played this, so muahahahahaha! 

PSY - GANGNAM STYLE 

Remember FB? I posted this, saying it was going to be a huge hit. People thought  

I was kidding. Well...

Beyonce - Single Ladies 

Finally a song to let your partner know indirectly they need to put a ring on it HA HA! Oh, no, I'm just dancing cos'  I love the song and I know every single move, but yeah HAHA single single HAHA! Then there comes the second row, of married ladies, showing their rings. And there's the dance! Why does everybody think they can pull those moves? You look ridiculous darrlliiinguh! Please sit, but over there not with us! Oh, the spectacle! If this song plays, you know the men restroom line is loooong, or the bar's. 

Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe 

Anything you can imagine or want to say, my answer to that is YES! People would start dancing kind of being funny about it but lemme tell you; THEY LOVED IT! 

I don't even know what this song is about. Have I danced to it? Yes! Was I drunk? Every time! Can you blame me? OFC! 

And get this! They're Swedish! Mind blown! Just found out hahahahahaha! WHAAAT!

Britney Spears - Baby One More Time 

When this song first came out I thought it was this girl band Solid HarmoniE (Yes, with a capital E) and man was I happy for them. So... pardon my disappointment when I see Britney in the video who had me like WHAAAT? lol But... ofc loved Britney and the rest is history. I don't need to say much about this. You can look around and probably have a copy of this song somewhere in your house. 

Michael Jackson - Billie Jean

Not me screaming Billie Jean, but the kid is not my soooooon! lol This is more for the older generation, but for some reason they play it in every wedding. Clearly not for the lyrics, that wouldn't be appropriate unless they are they trying to say something lol. Also, perfect chance to any basic idiot to try and show off MJ movies and tell you stories of when they were in college and ...I'm already bored. 

Usher - Yeah!

I can still hear girls screaming from the bathroom stalls running to the dance floor as soon as "Yeah! Yeah!" hit the floor and that was it! Good luck! Like...you don't understandUH! Oh, I do! I just don't wanna talk about it anymore! I have nightmares! lol